Conflict Management

Creative Conflict Management - Spring 1996

PROBLEM: In the workplace of the 90's, there are a growing number of conflicts between people that must be resolved quickly and effectively. When they're not, they often lead to lowered productivity and morale. They may also encourage problems such as absenteeism or substance abuse. On a larger scale, conflicts may even lead to problems such as sexual harassment, diversity disagreements and on occasion, even workplace violence.

How can we handle these conflicts so they don't mushroom into larger problems? What can we do to resolve these issues in such a way that they don't show up again later in a more significant form?

SOLUTION: Effective conflict resolution is a 7&endash;step process. If you move prematurely to the discussion stage, the agreement you create is more likely to break down later.

Resolve your internal conflicts &endash; Often one part of us wants to forgive and another part wants to keep blaming and fighting with the other person. The internal dialogue described in the Fall, 1995 issue of Practical Strategies is a useful tool to resolve this impasse.
Forgive the other person &endash; Forgiveness allows you to let go of the upsets of the past and deal with the other person in present time. See Practical Strategies Fall, 1993 for a detailed description of the process.
Listen to what they need &endash; What does the other person really want and need? Discover their bottom line by listening carefully to them and paraphrasing what they say to you.
Set your own priorities &endash; Often what we want in a difficult situation and what we really need are two different things. So decide what you really need from the other person and what you'd be willing to give up in the negotiation.
Discuss the situation calmly &endash; Never get angry or call the other person names during your discussion. Breathing deeply during your talk will help you stay calm.
Come to a mutually agreeable solution &endash; Always find an outcome that satisfies both of you. Otherwise lingering resentments will destroy the outcome.
Follow up in a few weeks &endash; Remember to set a follow&endash;up meeting to discover how things are going. Keep your side of the agreement and see if the other person needs any support from you.

EXAMPLE: I was hired by an organization that provides emergency services to intervene in a long standing dispute between two employees that was negatively affecting a number of other people as well. I taught each of them my conflict resolution model and then brought them together to work it out.

RESULTS: After having serious upsets two or three times a week, currently they have gone three months without any problems at all.

SUMMARY: Even though this approach may seem complicated, it's worth doing because it resolves the potential problems that may escalate from the continuing conflict. Give it a try. It works when you do.

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Michael H. Smith, Ph.D.
5801 Leona St., Ste A
Oakland, CA 94605

Tel: 510-530-7900
Fax: 510-530-7922
Email: MHSmith@MichaelHSmithPhD.Com